*YAWN*

I'm sitting at Vanessa's right now and I am bored out of my MIND. I babysat agian today which means that I need to go to Gram's and get some new clothes and everything. I am also babysitting tomorrow night but not for Vanessa. Her new friend Jenny needs someone to stay overnight with her four kids so I am doing that as well. While it is kind of good since that means I will have some extra money and will be a little closer to seeing a dentist and getting my truck fixed (not in that order) it also means that I won't be going home until Jenny comes to get her two younger children Sunday morning. I'm not that worried about it because three of the kids can pretty much take care of themselves and I am mainly there to keep them from causing trouble for her.
Her husband can't live with them right now because of some shit that the oldest pulled and so Jenny is trying to steal moments with her husband whenever she can. As I understand it the last time she tried to stay overnight the oldest got the neighbor to call the ambulance and was trying to get her mother in trouble with the law. I really don't understand how all of these kids who have wonderful parents decide that they need to cause trouble for those parents all the time. Especially when it is over something as stupid as being able to skip school or have your boyfriend over. For one thing it is straight out rude to have sex in your parents home when you know they do not want you too.

I'll prolly go over to Gram's for a little bit tomorrow, I forgot my phone there the other night and I just haven't bothered to go get it yet. I really don't think about moving around and taking off for doing things when I don't have to. I had to laugh last night when Vanessa, Jason and I went out to dinner. We talked about alot of nothing just because we could. When we ran over to Wal-Mart afterwards it was quite funny. I made a comment on the way out of the store that there are no cute guys around here and Vanessa had to point out that I don't actually like guys. She's right they are nothing more than what I settle for because I can't have what I want. What is funny is that she still hasn't managed to understand that I will never come out of the closet or even seriously think about coming out of the closet because I don't want to be disowned and lose the family that I now have. It wouldn't be that bad if I hadn't become so close to my family now. If the only family I had was my real family, mom and dad and my four siblings, I would wait until Gram died then come out of the closet but I can't do that anymore. Now that I also have the Henderson's as a family I don't have that option anymore. I don't mind that much. I had long ago figured out that I wouldn't be finding anyone to spend my life with.
It is kinda sad that I knew when I was younger that I would spend my life alone but it is something I have always known and kind of accepted. When I was growing up I knew that the only love I would receive in my life would be from family and any children I may get. I knew from a young age that I never wanted to have biological children. I always wanted to adopt kids but I've never wanted any with my own biological information.

I don't really know why any of thisw stuff matters because honestly it's just my random stuff that has been rattling around in my mind all day. I may get on later and write somemore of it all but I have to quit now. Jenny and her kids are all here so I can't reall write while I listen to all of them talking to me.