Confused and freaking out a little

I got some news a week ago that I had known was coming. Joe left Jessie and Aubrey and went back to his sister. He has decided that it was all too soon and he cannot handle it. I have some news for him about that thought. He doesn't get to decide that it is too soon after everything is said and done. I knew that it would happen and so did everyone else around me though apparently my family did not believe it would happen. The Princess and my little niece are now staying with my brother and sister-in-law. Jessie is trying to get all of us to take care of her and hasn't done a damn thing since it happened other than cry and I am alternating between pissed off at all of them and falling back on old habits and bailing her out of it all. I have always given up on what I wanted and given everything to help my family despite the fact that none of them have ever been willing to help me with anything. The closest any of them has been to being there for me has been the past year when they were letting me in a little but I was still the one who had to do all the work there.
Vanessa and I were talking this morning and we both agree that while I am getting a little better I still do not have the personality to deal with people and that applies to most of my family as well. I have a lot of conflicting thoughts on all of that right now and I really need to get my meds and maybe see about getting on something else as well with the holiday season coming. Unlike most people the holiday season begins with Halloween for me and I am having some trouble early on this year. I really want to be a part of my nieces and nephews lives and I am wanting to spend time with them and everything else but Aubrey is getting christened on Halloween this year and while I understand that to mean a lot of attention is on my sister I can't help feeling jealous that the one time of year I truly enjoy is even being overshadowed in my mind by her problems.
I need to come up with some way to get myself out of this funk that I am in because I have been on the knife edge of tears for like a week because of it. I keep fighting with my protective instincts about baling Jessie out because the only idea she put forth was for me to get a job and take care of her while she stayed home with Aubrey all the time. I have a problem with that. I may have gone along with it if she would agree to moving to me but she wants me to leave my new life goals behind to move to Jerseyville and take care of her and I simply can't do that. I also need help with my goals.
I'm going to start looking at the college options I have but I have never looked at campuses before and it is intimidating me. I know what I want to go to school for which is more than what I had the first time but I also know that I need to find a school this time and I'm not sure I can. When I enrolled in college last time it was with the knowledge of what college I was going to and I simply told my enrollment advisor what I liked to do and he did everything else. I didn't even know what my degree was called for the first semester. Now I know what I am going for but the campus setting as well as the task of enrolling is intimidating me into doing nothing.
I don't know how to handle this stuff and there is so much more bothering me that it is not even funny. I'm lost and I know it I just don't know how to handle it.